


A Paper, A Promise

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post Season 2, bring colton back, fluff???, i have a lot of feelings for these two, i still want jackson and lydia together okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1323229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson has moved to London and Lydia has never heard a word from him since. That is until the morning of her birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Paper, A Promise

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sad that there's basically zero Jydia centered fics. This was written in procrastination for my Physics finals and my intense love for these two. Also, this is my first foray into Teen Wolf fanfiction.

     Lydia wakes up that morning with a sense of trepidation. Before all this supernatural insanity started happening, today was her favorite day of the year. Before, everyone would have already been talking about this day for _weeks._ Her birthday is the party of the year and everyone knew that. She was secure in the thought that her house would be overflowing with people, all of them grateful just to be there and graced by her presence.

     But that was before the crazy stuff started happening. Before she got attacked in the lacrosse field and disappeared only to be found after two days, wandering naked in the woods. But whatever, she was still Lydia Martin. She knew she was intelligent, beautiful and compelling enough to bend people’s will to her own. Even after everything that happened, it was this knowledge that gives her strength to hold her head high and strut the halls of Beacon Hills High School. Besides, since last year she practically drugged all of her guests and resurrected a murderer, there was no way this year could get any worse.

     So what if she found out she was a banshee? So what if her best friend was a hunter? So what if almost all her friends were werewolves? So what if her ex-boyfriend became this lizard-human killer, died, turned into a werewolf, fled to London and hasn’t spoken a word to her since he left? So what if she stupidly still can’t stop thinking about him after everything that happened? So what?

     She deserves today to be a perfect day and she is determined to make it so. She closes her eyes and counts to ten before she actually gets off her bed and heads to the kitchen for breakfast.

     “Hey, honey. Glad you’re awake.” Her mom greets her, giving her a hug a kiss on the top of her head. “Happy Birthday! I got you your favorite croissants for breakfast.” She holds her mom closer, glad that even in the midst of all the insanity she has one thing she can be sure of. Her mom will always be there for her. “Thanks, Mom.” she whispers as she pulls away to get a glass of milk for herself before going to the dining room.

     “Something came for you today in the mail.”

     “Is it from Dad?” Gradually, her mom and dad’s post-divorce fights have started to lessen, both in frequency and in intensity. Both of them now able to speak civilly, if a bit tense and sharp, to each other. Oh well, she’ll take what she can get.

     “Actually no… It’s from London.” She gives her a small smile before handing her an envelope. The words LYDIA MARTIN is written on the front in very familiar handwriting. She can feel her heart clench, her heartbeat stuttering a little before it picks up, its beating twice than what should be normal. She can feel her breaths becoming shallower, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. She hates it. She hates that even though he’s a thousand miles away and it’s been months, practically a year, since she’d admitted that she does still love him—it’s stupid but it’s still true—he can still affect her like this. _Calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. Calm the hell down. It’s just Jackson._ She inhales one last deep breath before opening the envelope. A letter flutters down. She picks it up and begins reading.

***

 

_Dear Lydia,_

_Okay. That felt pretty weird to write. Did I ever call you dear? I didn’t, did I? God, I was such a jerk. Still kinda am, actually. And now, I’m sounding like a total shmuck. Oh damn, I’m sorry. I’ve been rambling. This is pretty nerve wracking, who knew? Okay let’s just pretend this part never happened._

_If all went right, today is your birthday. Happy Birthday! (Wow, exclamation points sound awkward. Can you imagine me going all “Happy Birthday!!!” on you in person? Cause I can’t. Anyway…) I know how much you love this day so of course, I couldn’t not say something to you. Remember the year before last, when I sneaked into your room just so I could be near you when it turned midnight? I know I grumbled a bit and made a show of how big a deal it was that I stayed up even though I was already exhausted. (Wow, I was a total ass.) I never told you this, but when you kissed me, told me “But I’m worth it.” and smiled this really happy grin I felt my exhaustion fade away and I thought to myself “You really are.” Instead, I just gathered you in my arms and mumbled “Can we please go to sleep now?” You didn’t see it but I was smiling when I fell asleep._

_I’m sure this is pretty bizarre for you. Not only because of the things I’m saying, but for the fact that I haven’t talked to you since I left. I know the move was hurried and that when I left a lot of things were also left unresolved. I’m not even sure if you read this letter or if you threw it in the trash once you figured out who it came from._

_My parents actually gave me a choice. They asked me if I wanted to come with them to London or live alone in Beacon Hills. I thought about it. Hard. But here’s the thing. I knew I had to get away from Beacon Hills. I’m still haunted by the things I did when I was a monster. I killed people. Innocent people, Lyds. I know I’m rude and arrogant and obnoxious and probably the worst person that can ever be but I’m not a murderer. I swear I’m not. I actually talked to Derek about it. God, was it awkward. For one, he’s the one who turned me. Two, technically he killed me. Don’t ever say this to him, but I even here I can feel his authority. He’s still my alpha or whatever. And when I went to see him, Lahey was there too and I can’t deny that there was this sense of family and pack and belonging and all that bullshit. He was actually decent. He told me it wasn’t totally my fault. I was being controlled. But then he said, partly yes, it was my fault. At that point I called him a fucker and that he’s the one who did this to me. There was screaming and a fight and claws came out and well… When things calmed down, I told him about leaving and all he said was to give him at least until the full moon to train me and make sure I don’t wolf out in the middle of Trafalgar Square or whatever._

_By then, I knew I was gonna leave but I didn’t tell you. Because I was sort of avoiding you. I was so much of a bastard to you. I hurt you, I know that. I told you you were nothing when you were the only thing that felt real to me since I found out I was adopted. I used everything I know against you, hurt you in every conceivable way that I know because I was so fucking blinded by power and in a way so fucking scared of losing you like I lose everything I am. I have no idea how to even start apologizing. You and Danny are the only two people who can read past my bullshit, who can see past my arrogance and find the insecurity directly underneath it. I needed to be perfect, so you guys won’t leave me. I pushed people away because I knew that if anyone got close enough they’d leave me. My real parents did, so what’s stopping you? Or my mom and dad? I want to fix things. I want to fix everything. But before I can fix this—us. I needed to make peace with myself and my parents. I had to get away from everything that happened. London was perfect for that._

_And to show you I’m serious I’d let you in on a secret: I’m doing therapy. My shrink actually told me to start a journal or write letters or whatever as part of it. He could tell I was fucked up and I “had recently gone under a majorly traumatic experience”. Like that wasn’t obvious. Anyway, when he said letters, all I can think about was The Notebook and how Noah wrote a letter to Allie every day they were apart—hey, you made me watch it like a hundred times, of course I was bound to remember something—and that maybe I’d do something like that. I’ve been writing letters to you almost every day since then. I didn’t send them of course, so don’t worry that your mom might be intercepting it or something. Maybe one day, you’d get to read them. I am sending this one to you though, because it’s your birthday and I really can’t think of a better gift. You can already have all the clothes and jewelry you want. The only thing I can give you is the truth._

_What I’m trying to say is that I’m trying to be a better person for you. I’m not asking you to wait for me or anything. If you’ve found someone and he makes you happy I’m not going to be a dick and screw it up. God knows you deserve to be happy. (I asked Danny to keep an eye on you, though. But I told him, “need to know” only. And that if anyone asks, I’m not talking to him either.) But I will tell you this:_

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you felt that you had to hide parts of yourself to be with me. I’m sorry that I never told you how I knew you were smarter than how you acted around me and that it’s okay because nothing is sexier than Lydia Martin being better than everyone. I’m sorry for every wrong way I treated you. I’m sorry for all the hurt I caused you._

_I miss you. I miss your eyes and your skin and your hair. I miss waking up next to you. I miss holding your hand and kissing you. I even miss you bossing me around and screaming at me when I tip you past your breaking point.  I miss you so much that it hurts physically._

_And I love you. I love the way you run your hands at the back of my neck when you notice that I’m more pissed off than usual. I love how you can make me feel scared and hopeful and excited all at once. I love that when I try to push you away, you stand your ground and make me realize that I need you. I love that winning smile you get when things are going your way. I love you with an absolute certainty that I have never felt before._

_One day, I’m gonna come back. And if you’d still have me, I promise I’d never hurt you again. That I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You will always be my queen. I love you. I love you. I love you._

_Yours,_

_Jackson Whittemore_

***

     Lydia folds the letter and wipes her tears away. Right now she hates Jackson. Hates him for this letter. For having this effect on her. For talking to Danny but not to her. For having Danny checking in on her and telling him things when she’s not allowed to do the same. For not telling these things to her sooner. For not telling these to her in person. For being so far away that she can’t slap him. For being so far away that she can’t kiss him.

     She already knows she’s not gonna wait up for him (like hell she will). But she also knows that when he comes back, there’s no competition. She knows she’ll take him back. But before she does, she’s gonna make him work for it.


End file.
